Natasha kept her eyes closed for a moment taking in the warm kiss of the sun on her skin. This was her favorite moment of the day. For in this one moment Matt was still with her but, as she moved to get a start on her day her heartache came back with the force of a Mac truck. He was out of her reach she would have to wait a lifetime to see him again.
The door to her room opened and the bouncing ball of energy that she called her son came in. Her breath caught and a tear came to her eyes. William was an exact copy of his father. She caught him as he leapt onto her bed. She was happy to be holding at lest a piece of Matt again.
“Can we watch daddy again today?”
Watching videos of Matt had become an almost daily ritual “Of course you go turn on the TV and I’ll make pancakes.”
Will ran ahead of her to the living room and turned on the TV. Matt’s face immediately came on the screen. He was comparing two basketball teams. Natasha noticed that the spark that had always danced in he eyes no longer was there. Her Aunt Irene came out of her room at the sound of Matt’s voice. Natasha’s family was worried about how she was dealing with out Matt they were afraid that she might do something desperate and ruin her chances of ever seeing him again. The family had decided that Irene would life with Natasha to keep on eye on her. Natasha didn’t mind she had missed her aunt Irene and was savoring this time.
“You really shouldn’t watch that TV so much you know.” Was Irene’s comment as she entered the kitchen and set the tea kettle on the stove to make her coffee
Natasha just shrugged as she started measure the ingredients. Just like when she was five she used an old fashioned hand turned egg beater to mix the buttermilk pancakes. The smell of pancakes and bacon soon filled the apartment. She looked out the French doors as she placed a large pile of pancakes in front of Will. She hated that it was always so sunny when in her heart a storm was still raging. They ate their breakfast and right on time there was a knock on the glass. Little Cheyenne
***
Matt tugged at his tie loosening it as he walked thought the door to his apartment. It was hard to believe that this was the same apartment he had shared with her. The walls where now completely covered with her pictures. In some she smiled others she was crying or looking at him seductively. This was his Hell, to be surrounded by her face but not be able to touch her. He had to act out his old life everyday but he no longer had that bright spot that had lead him on his dark days. To him it seemed like years since the plane crash but he had been told it was only two months ago. He did something he had rarely done before the crash but, now it was his nightly ritual. He poured himself a shot of whisky and toasted his favorite photo of Natasha. “Welcome to hell my love.” He drained the shot and then started to drink straight from the bottle.
